I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
