I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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