wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize