No stitches, just platelets and will power
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
