I should be sponsored by Trojan
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize