I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.