This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't