even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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