i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
