so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
