i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
