you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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