the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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