No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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