where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I could fuck to npr.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
