did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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