i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
