i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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