I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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