Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
