I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
