she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
