Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
