Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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