I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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