Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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