Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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