i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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