It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
