thus making me awesome and them whores
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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