I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
