i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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