I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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