return my video game
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
