The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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