Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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