yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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