thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
