I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
