ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
