At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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