Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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