He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Welp...herpes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
