I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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