Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
