Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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