STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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