I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
