Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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