Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize