That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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