He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Randomize
