i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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