party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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