yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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