So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
