I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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