she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
