Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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