I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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