I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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