maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
