it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
