MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
